When I was younger I wasn’t confident in the way I looked. I suffered with eczema, alopecia and asthma and had low self-esteem. My outlook on life back then was very negative and I didn’t like myself very much. I had no self-belief. When I was in my mid 30’s, I went on a journey of personal growth, healing, self-discovery and empowerment and eventually I learned to accept and love myself just the way I am. Nobody can deny that the way we feel about our appearance affects our wellbeing, especially our mental health.
These days, it seems more acceptable opting to go under the knife or opt for botox injections. Perfection is a dangerous quest. Heavily filtered social media posts and womens magazines make some of us think that somehow these images are real and attainable. They are not but that doesn’t mean we can’t take pride in our appearance and take care of ourselves and have a healthy positive relationship with the way we look and feel about ourselves.
The way you speak to yourself matters
Negative talk limits you and increases stress and anxiety. If your outlook on life and how you feel about yourself is negative, you maybe perceiving things/events of your life far worse than they really are and creating unnecessary misery for yourself. You may have developed a pattern of negative thinking that can consume your time and bring up old issues from the past into the present without leading to any resolution. These negative self-talk patterns often start in childhood. Usually this habit has affected our thinking for years and affects us in many ways. Stopping yourself from using negative words and turning them round to positive ones can help boost your self-esteem and relieve stress and anxiety.
Practising Positive Self-Talk
The first step in to practising positive self-talk is being aware of what you are saying to yourself
Remember not all your thoughts are true. Don’t accept what you think because you think it – your thoughts don’t define you
Notice the patterns in your thinking. Be aware of the negative thought then choose to change your perspective and change it to a more positive one
Your environment can have a massive impact on the way you talk to yourself. Check who or what is making you think the way you are. Is it more negative than positive? Also what we consume can have an impact too so look at your diet and make necessary changes and opt for healthier options. Leave the coffee and drink more water.
Practising compassion meditation known as Metta Bhava which means loving-kindness will help you bring in positivity in various aspects of your life. This form of mediation helps you utilise the love you feel for the people who are important to you and to other people in the world.
Balance your thoughts by writing down three positive thoughts when a negative thought comes to mind. Maintaining a journal can help you do this.
Being grateful helps you to have a healthier mind-set and can help improve your relationships as it will help you learn to look on the bright side of life and help you to become more patient with the people you love.
Affirm yourself and be your own cheerleader this definitely can help you to feel more positive. When you speak more positive words to yourself, you are more likely to think fulfilling thoughts. Look into a mirror and look straight into your eyes and affirm and mean what you say.
It is important to realise that your body and mind are closely connected. If you are having a hard time keeping a positive on a daily basis, get active or book yourself in for regular monthly massage or do both. Aromatherapy massage can have such an impact on your mood.
Research suggests that when you smile even when you don’t feel happy, your brain transmits this as you being in a good mood and motivates you into a positive attitude.
Remember that it doesn’t matter what people think of you what matters is what you think of yourself. You don’t have to be perfect; you just have to be you.